Safedi ki Fatkaar..Baar Baar Lagataar…

“Wish it was indeed flat. How untrue is this statement”

I always get irritated when I am disturbed while reading and I least expected it in Qantas business class!! With my reading sojourned, I asked my fellow passenger, “You said something”

“Ya..How unrealistic is the thought that the world is flat”.

He was obviously referring to the book I was reading, ‘The World is Flat’ by Thomas Friedman, I replied, “The thoughts in book, are really compelling and in today’s world we can really say that the world is flat.” 

“Yep..I agree with those thoughts, but in reality, it is not the case, the world is bouncy and full of pace” my co-passenger replied matter of factly. Not expecting any answer or reply from, he immersed ear plugs of I-Pod and was on his way to a nice cozy slumber. 

My earlier annoyance, by now was converted into the surprise. On closer look, I realized that my co-passenger had a complexion very similar to that of an albino, but certainly, he was not an albino!!. 

“How strange! How come I did not notice this in the beginning!!?” 

His accent, face and general body built, tended towards Indian. Startled, I started to look around, and to my great surprise, I found there were around 20 passengers, with such strange ‘tending-towards-an albino-complexion’. I was completely flabbergasted.  I pinched myself, but soon realized that it indeed is reality and not my dream. Double checking my boarding pass hardly suggested anything otherwise. 

“Hi”, another fellow passenger of the same ilk approached me, probably understanding my confusion, shock, awe. “Are you from India?”.

“Yes, I am from India”. The voice sounded familiar and very typical. “Do I know you? 

“It is quite possible. We play for India and represent India at various international tourneys”

 I was completely bamboozled, for I did not know any Indian sport team that represented India had such ‘tending-towards-an-albino-complexion’. The situation was getting increasingly curious than ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’.

“Which sport do you play for India?” If I were cat, I would have been certainly dead by now.

“Cricket” said he hesitantly and coyly.

“What?” The entire crew and other fellow passengers were looking at me as I screamed at the top of my voice which was probably akin to a person thrown from top most floor of Burj Khalifa and that too without parachute!!!!! 

As I gathered myself, all the pieces of jig saw puzzle gelled together. It was Indian Cricket team traveling from Perth to Adelaide. The passenger sitting right in front of me, with typical and familiar voice, was Sachin Tendulkar and fellow passenger complaining about world being pacy and not flat had to be Rahul Dravid (Who else from cricket team would know that such a book titled ‘The World is Flat’ exists in this world, let alone read and comment on it!!!).

“What happened to your faces, why are they so pale? Have you developed some kind of allergy?” 

There was hush silence. Before long, I realized my mistake. Such great complexion was a gift of the white-wash, the ongoing drubbing that Team India is suffering from Australian team. The losing streak now stands at 3-0 in Australia, if England series is taken into consideration, it would be 7-0. 

“Any ways, why can’t you do something about this?”

“I am the leader, I take the blame” another player entered into the discussions. It was Captain Cool, MS Dhoni. 

“Once this series is over, I am going to put forward my recommendations before BCCI. I along with Duncan have a great plan for future of Test Cricket.”

“But I heard that you are planning to retire from longer version”.

“Hmmmm…We will see” said Dhoni, tongue-in-cheek.

“What are your recommendations to BCCI?”

“Only on confidentiality clause, here are my suggestions…

1. Till we achieve, No. 1 ranking, India will play test matches only in India
2. If away tours are mandatory, we will play on pitches similar to India i.e. flat pitches, with no bounce. These matches will not be telecast in India
3. I will shoot all my advertisements while on tour, since, I can give more time for shooting in away tours than when I play in India (Naturally, with matches getting over in 3-4 days he has more time at his disposal)

These great recommendations were cut short, by the announcement that we were about to land at Adelaide.

I hope our Indian team does a little better than 4-0 and comes back with 3-1 score line, for our seniors deserve better swansong. Winning an away series and then bidding adieu is what our senior players have earned for themselves rather than being forced to retire after hogwash series.